“I fight for women who have been written off”

Wholesale News shares its top takeaways from the recent Women in Wholesale Speed Mentoring event and Anna Whitehouse’s keynote

Describing herself as an ‘accidental activist’, Anna Whitehouse, also known as Mother Pukka, is a passionate, personal advocate for the rights of women, and parents, in the workplace.

The journalist, editor, author, campaigner and founder of Flex Appeal shared her experience as a mother trying to balance parenting with pursuing her career ambitions only to discover that for too many, the two are simply not compatible and things need to change.

INVISIBLE SACRIFICE

Too many women are making invisible sacrifices to survive in the workplace out of fear, from removing engagement rings before interviews to miscarrying at their desks rather than go home. For many women, the personal toll of sustaining a career as a parent remains largely unacknowledged.

It isn’t about having it all. We don’t want it all, but we do want our ‘something’. Women don’t want to have to make a choice between the things they love. When women have a child, they don’t necessarily want to step out of their careers to hold the baby. They want to parent their children and continue in a career they are passionate about. They want remuneration for the work they do, and they want to be included at the table, not written out and written off.

CHANGE DOESN’T WAIT FOR LEGISLATION

We don’t have to wait for legislation to change before we raise our voice or make a difference. Individuals at every level have the power to shift workplace culture. From a COO who restructured his team around “the rub in their day”, which included flexible working and boosted productivity by 30% in three months, to a HR assistant who launched an internal podcast to spark discussions around inconsistency of management, the message is clear: be prepared to go rogue and show how things can be done differently.

When faced with senior leaders who are resistant to change, challenge them to give it a trial period so you can show how it can be done. Don’t wait until you’re broken; try and introduce ways to fix it early.

FLEXIBLE WORKING IS A PARENTAL ISSUE, NOT A WOMEN’S ISSUE

Extending flexible working to men isn’t just about fairness, it’s a strategic lever for change. Until men’s requests are accepted at the same rate as women’s, genuine workplace equality is impossible. A father being asked “can’t your missus do that?” when requesting school pick-up flexibility illustrates how deep the unconscious – and often conscious – bias runs.

This lack of flexibility isn’t just bad for women but bad for business. We are seeing countless examples of companies sharing how they are forcing employees back to the office and immediately their competition see an uptake in talent coming their way.

BIOLOGY AND THE BOARDROOM ARE STILL FUNDAMENTALLY MISALIGNED

The working world was built around male biology and it has never caught up with the many issues that face women, from periods to pregnancy and menopause. These cannot be dirty words or always experienced in secret. In fact, in 2023 more than one million women left the workforce due to menopause symptoms alone. The system, as it exists now, is not designed for women, so we need it to evolve.

THE COLLECTIVE IS OUR STRATEGY

Our call to action is to look left and look right and utilise the power of those around you. Rely on the women around you who have already walked though the fires you are fighting. We have a responsibility to support one another, whether that’s buddying up with a colleague on maternity leave, forwarding the Equality and Human Rights Commission’s Working Forward pledge to HR or simply refusing to play along with outdated views, the real change begins with the women already in the room.

SOME OF THE TOPICS COVERED AT THE SPEED MENTORING EVENT

NAVIGATING IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Self-doubt is common and can show up as questioning capability, secondguessing decisions or feeling like you don’t fully belong.

Be vulnerable. It’s OK to ask for help. Speak kindly to yourself. Keep asking questions – this is how you grow and learn. Create safe spaces and networks for support.

HANDLING PUSHBACK AND RESISTANCE
Pushback and resistance are a natural part of leadership. How these situations are handled can shape both outcomes and relationships. It requires the ability to stay composed, listen with intent and balance confidence with openness, knowing when to adapt and when to hold firm to move conversations forward constructively.

Become comfortable with speaking up. Lead with curiosity in order to understand other views. Don’t take things personally. Pick your battles. Use emotion as a signal – what you feel is telling you something. Separate intent from impact.

CREDIBILITY, TRUST AND REPUTATION
Credibility and trust are built over time through consistent actions. Reputation reflects not only what is achieved but how it is achieved. It’s influenced by reliability, integrity and the ability to build strong relationships.

As a leader, you get the best out of your team by demonstrating care and nurturing individuals. Emotional intelligence is key. Create a support network and offer support in return. Time is precious, so delegate to lighten the load. Prioritise your team and take them with you. Be known for the right things.

SPEAKING UP AND BEING INFLUENTIAL
Influence isn’t just about having a voice but about how you use your voice. Be mindful of when to contribute, how to position your perspective and how to navigate competing priorities and pressures. Listening is key.

LIVING VALUES
Values often feel clear in theory but far more complex in practice. Living your values at work requires consistency, judgement and can mean navigating tension between personal beliefs, organisational expectations and the realities of busy environments. Recognise when something feels wrong and ask yourself why. Buy yourself time to assess and reflect before reacting.

MENOPAUSE
Menopause is a significant life stage that can have a real impact on confidence, wellbeing and career progression. Greater awareness and open conversation can play an essential role in reducing stigma and improving support, as can creating space to share experiences and perspectives.

EXPERIENCE, MISTAKES AND BETTER DECISIONS
Leadership isn’t built in perfect conditions but shaped through experience, pressure and reflection. Those decisions that didn’t go well tend to be the ones that shape us and they are valuable sources of learning.

Utilise the expertise from within your business. Create a framework for decision-making. Always know there will be unknown factors in any decision-making process and you can always revert to an alternative plan.

Anna Whitehouse event Flex Appeal Women in Wholesale